I saw Mr. Gestapo yesterday. For those of you just signing on, he is my therapist for my rotator cuff surgery repair that I had in July. He is really a nice man, very gentle and good at his job. But after all these weeks of not using my arm, the therapy is painful, so I choose to make light and tease him about his torture tactics. If we can't laugh at ourselves, then we would just whine a lot and I hate to be a whiner.
So Mr. G. has brought me to the next level and is now insisting I actually use the arm doing all these things that I don't think I ever really do! I have to climb the walls (all these years i thought that was a metaphor for going stir crazy, who knew!) I have to take a dowel and force my arm up in the air being sure I use this muscle and not that muscle keeping my shoulder down and my arm up, not this way but that way. I get home and forget what he said and do it wrong all week till the next session. Another one is the stretchy rubber bands that you have to pull in and out and up and down and back and forth and over and under. I start getting hot again and remember the hot flash day. I can feel my face getting red and realize I am holding my breath. So i start to breath. I do my Yoga breathing and Mr G. runs over, "are you okay?" "Just breathing, I mumble" Next thing I know I am back on the slab and he's taking my pulse again. I explain that I was practicing breathing because sometimes when I exercise I forget to breathe. He looks at me as if I have two heads and then sends me back doing circles on the wall. I use my good arm to see if he will notice. He does. Circles really hurt, but I get through it. Whew. Now I have to do this again on Thursday, twice a week now. Hopefully my insurance will run out soon and I can stop this masochism!
Yesterday I said i was going to write down my food triggers. I did and started immediately getting defensive and thinking of all kinds of excuses for my behavior. I realized that that is one of my biggest problems. Thinking because i had a hard day, or unsettling news, that that was an excuse to start eating. I need more than willpower, I need a strategy. First, i must realize that every thought that runs through my head does not need to be acted upon. I need to mother myself like i do my kids. I wouldn't let them go through the fridge and pantry eating every junk food in sight. Or run to the store just to buy chocolate bars! I need to throw out food brought over by well meaning guests instead of feeling that I have to eat it to save it. I need to develop some strategies to get my mind off of food. I have been avoiding some household organizational chores that need to be done by munching and playing computer games. So starting today, I am starting lists of things I expect to accomplish each day. I need to clean out at least one drawer, closet, tote, whatever before I sit at the computer or pick up my book. I need to have healthy snacks cut, sliced, peeled, ready for a hunger attack. I need to drink more water.
So, lots of resolve today. My list is ready. Hope yours is!
Rock On, everyone!
Here's a poem I wrote for one of the TOPS SRD's. It feels apropos today:
TOPS Bouquet of Love
In a place of faith and peace lies a garden lush and green
Filled with the loveliest flowers the world has ever seen
Each bud was once a seed, nurtured with hope and love
Sprinkled with a gentle rain from white clouds high above.
Each one of us must plant the seeds that inspires the buds to grow
With a smile, a touch, a gentle nod we let each other know
We're not alone, we're all the same, whether daisy or coral bell
We'll weed out negativity and make our bodies well
Together as we pledge our vows to eat as we know we can
we'll start to bloom and fulfill our goals as we follow TOPS simple plan
Then we can circle the newborn buds as they rise from their repose
We'll form a TOPS Bouquet of love, as we become the yellow rose.
By Judy Patt Hall
My Plan for today:
Breakfast: muffin and tea
Snack: fruit cup and almonds
Lunch: spinach quesadilla
snack: apple
Dinner: Chicken and rice
Snack: handful of pretzels
Exercise: Gym at 4:30 a.m., been there, done that already. Yoga in the evening, and oh yes, THE list!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Health Trek Day 13, 9/29/09
Yesterday I once more succumbed to my bad habits. I had some news over the weekend that overwhelmed me a bit and the result is that I lost focus on my goal. I have been reading a bit about emotional eating and learned some interesting information. I think many of us turn to food when we are at our emotionally weakest, I know I do. We use food as a way to soothe negative emotions like anger, boredom, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, etc. I usually look for the sweet or salty foods not the healthy snacks I had planned to eat. The problem is, while I am eating I feel better, almost defiant, but as soon as I finish eating, the mood returns, but now guilt is added to the list of negative emotions. So I look for more comfort food. I thought about all the things I know about emotional eating and what I could do to stop myself from turning this day into an all night binge. I know all the basics like wait fifteen minutes, brush your teeth, drink a glass of water, so I did them all then went to bed with my book at 8:00 P.M. With my sleeping husband by my side, I will not eat, so I was safe. Today I plan to write down my food triggers and record what makes me take the candy bar instead of the apple. I will try and do something else other than eat when I crave one of those comfort foods. I have a busy morning ahead so I most likely won't be drawn to eat. My friend and I are planning to meet for lunch, so I will order something healthy and NO DESSERT.
My daughter eats every 2 1/2 hours and has her meals and snacks all planned out each day. By keeping her stomach full, she avoids the cravings most of the time. But she confessed to me she still has those days when she just wants to eat constantly and grab the comfort foods! Usually during a PMS time. I wonder if Men have those kinds of days too?
So all I can do today, is try again to stick to my eating plan, and stop the roller coaster of bad habits I have spent my lifetime building. I knew this journey was not going to be easy, but I was hoping by now that I would have impressed all of you with my resolve and willpower and lost ten pounds!
My poem for today:
Mind Free
When mundane tasks encumber me
And people cling like poison ivy
when my world is upside down
And all I see is an ugly frown
I do not wallow in my grief
But close my eyes to seek relief
The wondrous world that's in my head
Can whisk away the things I dread
Music glorious and sweet,
Brave kind folks I've yet to meet
Oceans filled with wondrous things
And a boat with sails like angel's wings
Beauty that makes my heart soar
Just waiting for that open door
By Judy Patt Hall
2000
Have a great day everyone, and ROCK ON!
My Plan for today:
Breakfast: egg, toast, tea
Lunch: Restaurant outing- plan to order a salad
Snack: apple and cheese
Dinner: pork cutlet, spinach salad
Exercise:; today I have my therapy session with Mr. Gestapo who is most likely dreaming up a suitable torture right now. I tremble with anticipation. This evening I will do some YOGA instead of eating!
My daughter eats every 2 1/2 hours and has her meals and snacks all planned out each day. By keeping her stomach full, she avoids the cravings most of the time. But she confessed to me she still has those days when she just wants to eat constantly and grab the comfort foods! Usually during a PMS time. I wonder if Men have those kinds of days too?
So all I can do today, is try again to stick to my eating plan, and stop the roller coaster of bad habits I have spent my lifetime building. I knew this journey was not going to be easy, but I was hoping by now that I would have impressed all of you with my resolve and willpower and lost ten pounds!
My poem for today:
Mind Free
When mundane tasks encumber me
And people cling like poison ivy
when my world is upside down
And all I see is an ugly frown
I do not wallow in my grief
But close my eyes to seek relief
The wondrous world that's in my head
Can whisk away the things I dread
Music glorious and sweet,
Brave kind folks I've yet to meet
Oceans filled with wondrous things
And a boat with sails like angel's wings
Beauty that makes my heart soar
Just waiting for that open door
By Judy Patt Hall
2000
Have a great day everyone, and ROCK ON!
My Plan for today:
Breakfast: egg, toast, tea
Lunch: Restaurant outing- plan to order a salad
Snack: apple and cheese
Dinner: pork cutlet, spinach salad
Exercise:; today I have my therapy session with Mr. Gestapo who is most likely dreaming up a suitable torture right now. I tremble with anticipation. This evening I will do some YOGA instead of eating!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Health Trekker Blog, Day 12 9/28/09
Another Monday, another weekend of friends, celebrations and food! As much as i try to stay wth just healthy foods, it all seems to go potty on the weekends. Our stay in the camper was a big success. it is comfortable, warm, cozy and everything works beautifully. We had a few friends over for a little camper party and birthday celebration for my brother-in-law. We ate, played games, ate, talked, ate, laughed, ate and finally went our separate ways. So this morning I was up at 4:00 a.m. and off to the gym to work off the weekends indiscretions as well as try to lose a few pounds before I face the scale on Thursday.
Have you heard of the "cat who" books? They are delightful little stories about a bachelor journalist and his two siamese cats named Koko and Yum Yum who help him solve mysteries. He is always looking for topics for his Newspaper column. One of the articles he wrote was entitled "Nobodies". He said we should look for the nobodies in our lives instead of doting on all the celebrities. Like the people who do random acts of kindness without expecting a return; those with a specific talent they share just for the fun of it; the teachers who love their jobs and inspires their students; the person who holds those signs at construction sites in all kinds of weather... Just ordinary people like you and me are the important ones and we can all catch them doing good things on a daily basis. Perhaps they are the ones we should emulate instead of the notorious persona that ends up on the National news. Food for thought- non-fattening and can sometimes take us beyond ourselves into a new realm of consciousness... Look around today and see how many nobodies you can find. Enjoy the smiles and kindnesses bestowed on you, then pay it forward!
Poem for today:
WHY
I know the Why of my need to reduce
I dream of the day when my clothes are all loose
Yet night after night, I sabotage my goal
By trying to fill this big empty hole
We live in a world of immediate need
With instant credit we give in to greed
Our parents worked hard to reach their goal
We buy now, pay later, and often lose control
Sometimes we all feel worthless and sad
We stress over behaviors that we deem as bad
And to comfort our egos we reach for the food
And all that we do is increase our bad mood
Habits are formed where food seems to be crucial
While reading a novel, munching chips seems essential
but how much food do we mindlessly consume
Once we're aware, we are filled with such gloom
If we ate as a child, only eating a mite
Letting each bite fill us with delight
Push away from the table when we'd had enough
Wouldn't our lives be a little less tough?
Judy Patt Hall
March 21, 2007
Granola bar at 4:00 a.m.
Breakfast: one egg, toast, tea
Snack: Grapes
Lunch: Chicken and tossed salad
Snack: Apple and cheese stick
Dinner: Cube steak, small baked new potato, broccoli
No evening snack to make up for the weekend!
Exercise: 1 hour workout at the Gym; Mr. G's list, Yoga in the evening
Have you heard of the "cat who" books? They are delightful little stories about a bachelor journalist and his two siamese cats named Koko and Yum Yum who help him solve mysteries. He is always looking for topics for his Newspaper column. One of the articles he wrote was entitled "Nobodies". He said we should look for the nobodies in our lives instead of doting on all the celebrities. Like the people who do random acts of kindness without expecting a return; those with a specific talent they share just for the fun of it; the teachers who love their jobs and inspires their students; the person who holds those signs at construction sites in all kinds of weather... Just ordinary people like you and me are the important ones and we can all catch them doing good things on a daily basis. Perhaps they are the ones we should emulate instead of the notorious persona that ends up on the National news. Food for thought- non-fattening and can sometimes take us beyond ourselves into a new realm of consciousness... Look around today and see how many nobodies you can find. Enjoy the smiles and kindnesses bestowed on you, then pay it forward!
Poem for today:
WHY
I know the Why of my need to reduce
I dream of the day when my clothes are all loose
Yet night after night, I sabotage my goal
By trying to fill this big empty hole
We live in a world of immediate need
With instant credit we give in to greed
Our parents worked hard to reach their goal
We buy now, pay later, and often lose control
Sometimes we all feel worthless and sad
We stress over behaviors that we deem as bad
And to comfort our egos we reach for the food
And all that we do is increase our bad mood
Habits are formed where food seems to be crucial
While reading a novel, munching chips seems essential
but how much food do we mindlessly consume
Once we're aware, we are filled with such gloom
If we ate as a child, only eating a mite
Letting each bite fill us with delight
Push away from the table when we'd had enough
Wouldn't our lives be a little less tough?
Judy Patt Hall
March 21, 2007
Have a great, healthy day and ROCK ON everyone!
Judy
Granola bar at 4:00 a.m.
Breakfast: one egg, toast, tea
Snack: Grapes
Lunch: Chicken and tossed salad
Snack: Apple and cheese stick
Dinner: Cube steak, small baked new potato, broccoli
No evening snack to make up for the weekend!
Exercise: 1 hour workout at the Gym; Mr. G's list, Yoga in the evening
Friday, September 25, 2009
Health Trekker, Day 11, Sept. 25,09
Welcome to my new Blog site. I also came up with a new name that is both positive and appropos! I will be experimenting with this page and adding information as we go along.
This morning after I went to my lab appointment, I spent an hour working out at the gym. My muscles and joints are still protesting and voicing their incredulity at my putting them through such an ordeal after spending the last two months basking in the comfort of my recliner. My therapist, Mr. Gestapo, informed me a few weeks ago that even though my recliner has a handle, it does not qualify as an exercise machine, so I gotta do what I gotta do. He has a nifty little machine at his office that I sit at and turn handles in large circles making my rotator cuff feel like it is being ripped out of my arm, then he hands me weights with instructions, do 2 sets of 20 or 30 each. After ten I feel like my arms will fall off and lay at my feet like two limp noodles, but I do my best to comply. So working out 20 minutes on the treadmill is almost like a vacation until I get off and my right hip decides to go on strike and I hobble to the ladies room appropriately called the "rest room" for a brief respite before I tackle the bike. Now the bike is a piece of cake except for the pain in my left leg each time I make a revolution. So another 20 minutes of "Oh my god, why am I doing this "as I smile lamely at my daughter who is literally bouncing up and down on the elliptical with a blissful smile on her face! Senior citizens were not meant to work out in a gym with teenagers giggling all over the place, but I at least have my kindle book to read while I work out and take my mind off the whole process. I am still telling myself this will get easier after a few weeks, months, years....
I came home from the gym and raced right to the fridge. I had to fast before the lab work then went straight to the gym, totally forgetting I had planned to eat a granola bar first. So I had breakfast,snack,lunch and then tackled this BLOG research project. Funny how it took me a whole hour to burn 200 calories and about five minutes to eat 600! Guess I better go watch my YOGA DVD and get busy with Mr. Gestapo's list.
I hope you all enjoy this new BLOG site and will comment on how you are doing with your quest for being your best! Have a great weekend and we'll touch base again on Monday.
ROCK ON!
This morning after I went to my lab appointment, I spent an hour working out at the gym. My muscles and joints are still protesting and voicing their incredulity at my putting them through such an ordeal after spending the last two months basking in the comfort of my recliner. My therapist, Mr. Gestapo, informed me a few weeks ago that even though my recliner has a handle, it does not qualify as an exercise machine, so I gotta do what I gotta do. He has a nifty little machine at his office that I sit at and turn handles in large circles making my rotator cuff feel like it is being ripped out of my arm, then he hands me weights with instructions, do 2 sets of 20 or 30 each. After ten I feel like my arms will fall off and lay at my feet like two limp noodles, but I do my best to comply. So working out 20 minutes on the treadmill is almost like a vacation until I get off and my right hip decides to go on strike and I hobble to the ladies room appropriately called the "rest room" for a brief respite before I tackle the bike. Now the bike is a piece of cake except for the pain in my left leg each time I make a revolution. So another 20 minutes of "Oh my god, why am I doing this "as I smile lamely at my daughter who is literally bouncing up and down on the elliptical with a blissful smile on her face! Senior citizens were not meant to work out in a gym with teenagers giggling all over the place, but I at least have my kindle book to read while I work out and take my mind off the whole process. I am still telling myself this will get easier after a few weeks, months, years....
I came home from the gym and raced right to the fridge. I had to fast before the lab work then went straight to the gym, totally forgetting I had planned to eat a granola bar first. So I had breakfast,snack,lunch and then tackled this BLOG research project. Funny how it took me a whole hour to burn 200 calories and about five minutes to eat 600! Guess I better go watch my YOGA DVD and get busy with Mr. Gestapo's list.
I hope you all enjoy this new BLOG site and will comment on how you are doing with your quest for being your best! Have a great weekend and we'll touch base again on Monday.
ROCK ON!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)