Health Trek Day 41

I missed writing my Blog on Friday and almost decided to quit writing it all together. I feel like a fraud and a failure. I started the Blog in September after our Inspiration meeting and pledged to lose weight and get back on track. I did start an exercise program and starting planning my meals, but the truth is, I was only half-heartedly changing my eating habits. I have not told all the times I did not stick to the eating plans. And all the times I did not exercise for one reason or another. Now we had our November Inspiration and I had gained four pounds instead of losing the five I pledged to lose. I should have been able to lose at least 10 pounds in the two months since I started this journey. So I am discouraged, disgusted with myself, and full of loathing and self pity. But after thinking all day how I can truly get serious about this journey I'm on, I have decided not to give up. One of the problems I see is that when I get up in the morning and start the day by writing the Blog, I then spend the next few hours playing with the computer instead of doing what needs to be done. So I am going to change my format and write the BLOG at night after Hubby goes to bed. I usually sit here in the evenings fighting the urge to eat and most times giving in. So instead I will keep my mind on healthy thoughts and do my meal planning for the next day each and every night. I will also evaluate how I did throughout the day and see where I succeeded or erred. This will help me to plan what to do the next day.
I apologize for this mundane note today. I just need to get my act together and have to be truthful. I can not try to be cute and funny when I am failing so miserably.
One of my son's friends died today at the age of thirty something from a heart attack. She was overweight and I am sure that is one of the reasons she is no longer with us. Why do we wait until we are sick or diagnosed with a medical problem before we do something! What a tragedy obesity is! This journey that I am on is to keep me healthy for the last few years of my life and to prolong those years as long as I can. It is not a train I can disembark from. There is no destination that will end my journey, except Death. So it is time to get serious and do what needs to be done.
Rock On!


Just Do It!
When you look at the end of your arm
and see junk food that will bring naught but harm
Put down that poison and find something to do
Let a good book bring nourishment to you!
When the chocolate cravings are driving you insane
Remember from sweets you have to refrain
at least until you can stop at two
You must go find something else to do
If your children are screaming and there are chores to be done
Your life is a mess and you are not having fun
Don't think that food is going to bring you some joy
Take the kids for a walk using exercise as a ploy
Remember that food is simply a fuel
Follow the dieter's chief golden rule
Whatever goes in just adds to your waist
Being healthy's worth more than the most succulent taste!
JPH
11/15/09

Plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast: Egg, toast, tea
Snack: Apple
Lunch: cheese sandwich
Snack: celery and cream cheese
Dinner: Chicken and rice stir fry

Exercise: Walking and Yoga

Health Trek Day 23

I went to therapy this morning at 7:00 so had to leave the house at six. My Doctor told me last week that I could now begin the strengthening or resistance exercises at home and check in once a week to the therapist. So I don't have to go twice a week. Thank goodness, that can get expensive! Mr G. gave me a two page list of exercises I can do at home and combined with the Gym exercise and the Yoga I should be in really good shape. But the truth is, the scales are still going the wrong way. I know what I am doing wrong and really need to find a way to make this one more small change. KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT! Isn't it odd how we can have willpower and do the right thing when it is for a life threatening reason, but lose all that resolve when it is just an every day process? For instance, if we are told we are going in for a test and need to fast for 12 hours before hand, we can do it. If we find out we will break out in hives if we eat certain foods, we will give them up. But just to lose weight, we resist giving up our comfort foods. At least I do. Since I have been doing all this exercise, my feeble brain has been saying, okay you did all that work, you should be rewarded. Have a candy bar! I keep rewarding myself for things I haven't achieved yet. One thing that has changed is that I am no longer taking the pain pills that I took for several weeks. As long as I was taking them, my appetite seemed to be under control Since I stopped, I feel hungry all the time and am eating way too much. I keep making excuses, but I know I need to just stay out of the kitchen! I would really like some feedback to see if any of you have this problem of feeling hungry all of the time and how handle it. Today I am going to try to keep busy and get my mind off of food. Being sedentary is one thing that leads to my down fall. So I have my list ready and am going to start with the vacuuming!
Sorry if this is a short, un-witty note today, but I am really feeling angry at myself for not having more will power. I am open to any and all suggestions.
In spite of my setbacks, I plan to continue to ROCK ON! I am starting over!

A Witty Ditty
I tried to write a little ditty
that was clever, bright and witty
But the weather has been rainy
the family has been zany
and I haven't felt that brainy
all this week!
So if something sharp and cheerful
that would wisely fill an earful
Something deep and erudite
is what you seek...
I can sit all day and ponder
knit my brow and make you wonder
but when you ask me for some wit,
This is IT!

JPH

Food plan:
Breakfast: Ate at Denny's this morning: Had the senior starter, one egg, slice of bacon, hash browns, English muffin. I didn't eat the bacon and only half of the Muffin and will have a light lunch, okay?
Snack: Baked chips
Lunch: salad
Dinner: Beef Stew
Snack: apple

Exercise: I have been practicing a DVD called "Yoga for the rest of us". It is very good. Lots of modifications for people like me. A good saying she starts with is :Start where you are; Use what you have: Do what you can!
I shall do what I must today. Yoga and Mr. G's list. Tomorrow back to the gym at 4:00 a.m.!
ROCK ON!

Health Trek Day 21

My daughter and I were at the gym this morning at 4:45. I just have to comment on the variety of people one sees working out. There are the golden oldies like me in sweatpants and baggie shirts looking bewildered and tentative as they try to figure out how all the gadgets work. There are machines that work just about every part of the body with a little explanation on each one to tell how they w0rk ... The machines work great, but our aging bodies don't always cooperate. But I digress, back to the people we see. There are the young things in spandex who seem to be running and bouncing with no effort, music thingys in their ears so they have no clue that someone may be speaking to them. There are the beer bellied weight champ wannabees who lift weights as they watch themselves in a mirror. One wonders what they see in that mirror? Do they really see the sagging bellies and drooping chests or do they see Arnold Schwarzenegger staring back at them. (Not sure if I spelled his name right, sorry Arnie!) Then there are the women in the locker room. I was always the kid in school that hid in the bathroom till everyone got out of the shower, then snuck in and showered quickly hoping no one would see me. I could never walk around naked in front of my peers, so blase like some people do. Did you ever notice that the women who walk around naked in the locker rooms are always the skinny wenches with designer boobs and not an ounce of flab to be seen? Never do you see a woman with everything fighting gravity strolling around in the buff. I guess we can be thankful for that! But Still whenever I am confronted with the naked body I tend to start studying the ceiling or noticing the newest scuff in my sneaker. I can't make eye contact and try really hard not to look. Usually these unclad nymphs have a tattoo somewhere that is really hard not to look at. One lady had a flower that was growing out of an unmentionable place and blossomed about her naval, most prettily. I wonder if in thirty years it will look wilted and droopy? I know tats are commonplace these days, but I still wonder why someone could have them etched in some of these places that just have to be really tender. Ouch!
The nice things about gyms these days is that you see lots of people that are built like me working out in the baggy clothes, and getting healthier as a result. We don't have to feel out of place. With ipods and headphones you can lose yourself in music or TV while you exercise and make the activity less painful. My secret is my kindle book. I get on the treadmill, punch in all the settings, start walking then lose myself in a good story. Before I know it, the machine is congratulating me on my successful work out and I'm ready to tackle the bike.
I guess the secret of making exercise a habit is to make it enjoyable. If you have a bike or exercise machine at home. Put on some nice music or TV show or read a book. Something where you can lose yourself for a little while and forget the mad crazy day that looms ahead of you. I have a lot of people tell me they can't exercise in the morning because they don't have time, or they don't want to wear themselves out, or some other excuse. But if you can make exercise part of your morning routine, just 10 or 15 minutes can make you feel rejuvenated for the rest of the day. Try it, it really works!
Have a fantastic Friday and ROCK ON everyone!

My poem today is a pensive one. It is where I have been for a few years and am now trying to change.

Who Am I?
I am a woman.. with all the parts God gave to me
Even though they're not as agile as they used to be
I am a mother.. even though no hugs greet me when I get home
No pleas for stories, my children now are grown
I am a wife...with a husband sweet and kind
Though he's oft baffled by things that fill my mind
I am a Nana..my grand kids worship me
But still it's not enough, it doesn't set me free
I am a dreamer...who longs for a magic world
Where there is singing and I remain a girl
I'm obese with faulty knees and spine
facing a future that can only bring decline
I am a soul...longing to be heard
Buried in a body that gets more and more absurd
Why won't my spirit age along with me?
So we can, with grace, live out our destiny
Does it deny that there's so little time?
Does it resent a world that has no rhyme?
For so long encased in a tight shell.
It knew just darkness- a fate much worse then Hell
While I, the body, eked out each mundane task
To create a world in which my loved ones basked
Now they are grown and the Voice demands its due
But each day exhausts me through and through
So much I've buried, such need to be expressed
The simple stories this spirit has possessed
But I just eat and work and eat and sleep
And all the Beauty's buried someplace deep
And now my body emulates the pain
With a heavy weight that barely bears the strain
How can I free this soul from the bleak dark?
How can I feed my soul and ignite the spark?

JPH


Plan for the Day:
Breakfast: Cheerios, English muffin, tea
Snack: apple
Lunch: Grilled cheese, Iced tea
Snack: Jello
Dinner: Out with a friend- probably Chinese

Exercise: 1 hour at gym on treadmill and bike; Yoga; Mr. G's list