Health Trek Day 42

I watched a documentary today narrated by Judi Dench. It was about the Kindertransport in postwar Britain where 10,000 refugee and Jewish children were rescued from Germany and sent to live in England. What these families must have felt when they had to send their kids off to an unknown fate. Some of the kids were accepted and loved, but many were put into service as maids and work laborers. They interviewed several of the survivors and I found myself watching in tears as it hit home how lucky we are in this country to have been spared the horrors and devastation of war that was experienced during the Nazi regime. I thought of how I have been complaining about not being able to lose weight BECAUSE I HAVE TOO MUCH TO EAT! So many people in this world struggle to provide food for their loved ones and we in America have this huge obesity problem. Because we have too much! I am not suggesting we should all go off and join the peace corps and live in dire poverty as was promoted in the sixties. But we should at least ponder about our good fortune. We have brought suffering upon ourselves because of our own gluttony and lack of self control. It makes one wonder what would happen if war made it's way to our doorstep. Would we be able to make strong decisions that would save our children or would we be weak and take the easy way out as we do every day as we make bad choices in our eating habits and our lifestyles of watching too much TV and running up too many credit cards and needing too many electronic devices. It makes me feel very humble to see how others have made such sacrifices to survive while we complain if our car breaks down or the dryer doesn't work or we have to work too many hours.
I think I will start being Thankful for what I have and try to make better choices in my quest for a healthy life. I intend to Seize the Day and
ROCK ON!

Night Shadows
Shadows of the past haunt me at night
Memories long entombed fill my dreams with fright
Daylight keeps me in control, intelligent and bright
But my ruse will never fool the shadows of the night
Memories engraved in subconscious plains
Forever spew forth my childhood remains
In sunshine my grown up image sustains
but night issues screams of the child's repressed pains
As the moon slowly climbs to its peak
Lord how I pray for the solace I seek
I descend to my bed all trembling and meek
Dreading the havoc Night Shadows will reek...
JPH
4/30/87

Plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast: 1 egg, toast and tea
Snack: apple
Lunch: Spinach and Shrimp salad at Applebee's
Dinner: stirfry and rice
Snack: celery

Exercise: Walking and shopping, evening Yoga.

Health Trek Day 41

I missed writing my Blog on Friday and almost decided to quit writing it all together. I feel like a fraud and a failure. I started the Blog in September after our Inspiration meeting and pledged to lose weight and get back on track. I did start an exercise program and starting planning my meals, but the truth is, I was only half-heartedly changing my eating habits. I have not told all the times I did not stick to the eating plans. And all the times I did not exercise for one reason or another. Now we had our November Inspiration and I had gained four pounds instead of losing the five I pledged to lose. I should have been able to lose at least 10 pounds in the two months since I started this journey. So I am discouraged, disgusted with myself, and full of loathing and self pity. But after thinking all day how I can truly get serious about this journey I'm on, I have decided not to give up. One of the problems I see is that when I get up in the morning and start the day by writing the Blog, I then spend the next few hours playing with the computer instead of doing what needs to be done. So I am going to change my format and write the BLOG at night after Hubby goes to bed. I usually sit here in the evenings fighting the urge to eat and most times giving in. So instead I will keep my mind on healthy thoughts and do my meal planning for the next day each and every night. I will also evaluate how I did throughout the day and see where I succeeded or erred. This will help me to plan what to do the next day.
I apologize for this mundane note today. I just need to get my act together and have to be truthful. I can not try to be cute and funny when I am failing so miserably.
One of my son's friends died today at the age of thirty something from a heart attack. She was overweight and I am sure that is one of the reasons she is no longer with us. Why do we wait until we are sick or diagnosed with a medical problem before we do something! What a tragedy obesity is! This journey that I am on is to keep me healthy for the last few years of my life and to prolong those years as long as I can. It is not a train I can disembark from. There is no destination that will end my journey, except Death. So it is time to get serious and do what needs to be done.
Rock On!


Just Do It!
When you look at the end of your arm
and see junk food that will bring naught but harm
Put down that poison and find something to do
Let a good book bring nourishment to you!
When the chocolate cravings are driving you insane
Remember from sweets you have to refrain
at least until you can stop at two
You must go find something else to do
If your children are screaming and there are chores to be done
Your life is a mess and you are not having fun
Don't think that food is going to bring you some joy
Take the kids for a walk using exercise as a ploy
Remember that food is simply a fuel
Follow the dieter's chief golden rule
Whatever goes in just adds to your waist
Being healthy's worth more than the most succulent taste!
JPH
11/15/09

Plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast: Egg, toast, tea
Snack: Apple
Lunch: cheese sandwich
Snack: celery and cream cheese
Dinner: Chicken and rice stir fry

Exercise: Walking and Yoga

Health Trek Day 40

It's Thursday again and I face the evil scale once more. I have done some soul searching this week and found myself wanting in the willpower department. Every day I make a plan, but find that my day takes on a life of its own and I am still not taking enough time to do the exercise, make the healthy meals and keep track of what I eat. I am now Leader once again of our Chapter, and I hope to be an example to everyone of what to do right, not how to procrastinate and continue the yo-yo pattern that has become my life. So I am going to pretend tonight is my first night at TOPS and ask all the members to pretend with me. Than we are going to start with DAY ONE and learn together what we must do to lose weight. I hope they will agree to some weekly assignments we will do every day and discussions each week that will keep us on track.
I know what I have to do and I will do it.
I am eating healthy and exercising more, but I know my portions are often too much. I need to cut out more of the starchy and fatty foods, and limit my snacking. Night time and solitude are my worst enemies because that is when I eat. Not out of hunger but out of habit. My refrigerator will soon look like a bulletin board with all the notes to myself on it. I realize I seldom read the notes, so I need to get the food out of the house that I shouldn't be eating. First plan, shop sensibly and not when I'm hungry. Second plan, write down what I plan to eat then follow it up with what I actually ate. I have started an honesty journal where I am making two columns one for my plan and one for reality. Then I can comment on why or why not my plan for the day worked.
So everyone, no funny quips today or silly stories. I am getting serious about my health!
Rock On!

Thought for today:
Lost Sundays
Modern times have brought many wondrous things
Ipods and phones with personalized rings
Cars and appliances to make our lives easy
Magical rides that make us feel queasy
We thought years ago these inventions would bring
More time to laugh and to dance and to sing,
But the truth of the matter is we've lost more than we gained
When you think of how our free time has been maimed
We used to have Sundays as a day to reflect
A time to recoup when we felt like a wreck
Now we use our days for a chance to fulfill
A long list of chores as we chug down a pill
That will give us the energy to get through the day
Since we no longer have time to muse and to pray
Our children are schooled to use every minute
Fill all of their time without any limit
We cart them to games and to gyms and to pools
Forgetting to teach them our Lord's Golden Rules
We have become too sophisticated to believe in a God
We no longer have time to look around and feel awed
Special effects in our modern movie shows
Take away the wonder of the winter's first snows
So many take drugs to make them feel right
It is no longer safe to go out at night
Our children have lost their summers of play
And no longer sit at the table to pray
What good are the gadgets if we can't find the joy?
That we used to know as a young girl or boy?
JPH
7/7/2008

Plan for today:
Breakfast: fruit, tea and toast
Lunch: 1 piece of Shepherd's pie
Snack: apple
Dinner: Bowl of chicken soup and six crackers.
I plan to drink more water today.
Exercise: walking and Yoga.

Health Trek Day 39

Once upon a time there was a man who had everything. He had all the newest technology and had thousands of MySpace and Facebook friends. He sent all his pictures to Flicker that he took with his high tech camera on his solitary walks. He was able to build cities with his complex video games and work out each day playing all his favorite sports with his Wii games. But this man felt that he was dying. He had constant feelings of dread and premonitions of impending disaster. He was convinced it must be something physical because he did everything right. He ate all the right foods, worked out and stimulated his mind with all his high tech electronics. He made an appointment with his doctor and waited anxiously for the results. The doctor called him into his office and from his grave demeanor, the man was convinced he had a terminal illness. "Am I going to die" asked the man, his voice quavering. "If you continue as you are doing now, I would have to say yes," replied the doctor. "You need to make some significant changes in your life." "Well, money is no object, said the man. "I can afford all the most expensive medicines or surgical procedures, just tell me what I need." "Oh, prescription drugs can not help what you have." replied the Doctor. "Your situation is completely hopeless, unless some miracle happens in your life." "A miracle, you can't buy miracles!" replied the man. The Doctor smiled, and said "Exactly. Miracles you have to seek. You have to have an open mind. You need to reach out to others. You need to learn to open your eyes and see the world around you. That is where you will find miracles. You see, young man, your ailment is called defeatism. You spend all your time alone and the only thoughts you share are your own. You have lost the joy of living and without that you will surely die. Go out into the world and meet people. Have fun. Help others. Get out of your technical box and live your life. Man is a gregarious animal, he needs people around him, not machines. Go and seek joy!.
The man did as the doctor bid, and he found the most wonderful miracle, friends!

Rock on, Everyone!

My feeble attempt at a sonnet:

Love Questions
Can you find Love in mystical moonbeams
or lips as sweet as roses are bright red?
Can Goddesses emerge from wistful daydreams
to plant a stream of kisses on your head?
Can Love be caught like a lovely bluebird
and locked with key into a gilded cage
Bound forever, will its songs still be heard
When youth is gone and you are middle aged?
If by fortune Cupid's arrow finds you
and Love is game enough to come your way
Will inconstant heart abide and stay true
When Married Love brings routine to each day?
You must nurture Love's sweet power
With care and patience every hour!
JPH
8/5/89

Plan for today:
Breakfast: tea and toast, banana
Snack: fruit
Lunch: cheese sandwich, diet coke
Snack: jello
Dinner: out with friends, hopefully I will order a healthy salad!
Exercise: walking, yoga and Mr. G's list.

Health Trek Day 38

Many of my friends and family are going through hard times with job losses and cutbacks causing financial hardship. I remember being a single parent with three children and how scared and depressed I could become worrying about our future. How do we get through such hard times and what good do all the platitudes that people say to you truly do. Things like, "ten years from now, you'll be able to laugh at this." or "you are much better off than some people so you should be thankful" or simply, "this too shall pass". I know from experience that knowing that someone else is worse off does not change my situation or make me any less scared, or less worried when these problems are looming on MY horizon. I remember I got through them by making daily plans of things I could do to change the situation, praying a lot, and trying to keep my kids from knowing just how scared and worried I was. I tried to find ways to have fun that didn't cost money. When the cable TV was shut off because we didn't have the means to pay it, we started having board game night. We read books together, had picnics outside, took walks and just talked to each other. I think the best thing we did is to pull together and work out the problems as a team. No blame games, or wallowing in self pity. Just pulling together and doing what needed to be done on a daily basis. Not looking too far ahead or too far back. Just living day by day. I remember one time we had lost our home and a woman had let us move into a one room cabin next to a small stream. We had to pump our water with a hand pump at the sink. We had to use pails to flush the toilet. We had no washer or dryer and often did not have money to go to the laundry mat, which meant washing our clothes by hand. One day I came home from work and found all the kids busy washing the clothes in a tub of water using the top of my broiler pan as a scrubbing tool. They had strung up ropes to hang the clothes on and were having a ball. They thought of the whole nightmare as an adventure! That is how we got through it. Finding a way to make it an adventure. Looking for the fun. A spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down. I guess that is all we can do, what we must do to get through the hard times. Whether we are trying to make ends meet or reach weight loss goals we can use this philosophy. Take one day at a time, find the fun in the chore and make life an adventure every day.
Rock on everyone!

I wrote this poem on Sunday for my son-in-law's birthday:

WHY
When the world is green
And the days are long
It is fun to bask
In Nature's sweet song
Our troubles seem to be
So far away
We work for awhile
Then come home to play
But when the winds blow cold
And our supplies become low
We are getting too old
To keep working so
We wonder sometimes why
Things are so hard
Why keep going
To bring home the lard
When we struggle each day
Far into the night
Then head for home
We see a bright light
At the end of the road
When we open the door
We suddenly know
What we're struggling for
Our families are there
With such trust in their eyes
A fire in the hearth
In the oven some pies
Such simple pleasures
But without them we'd be
just the shell of the person
God intended we be.

JPH
11/8/09

Plan for today:
Breakfast: tea and English muffin
Snack: fruit
Lunch: tuna sandwich
Snack: pretzels
Dinner: beef and onions, brown rice, carrots
Kitchen closed!

Exercise: Walking with Ben, Yoga and THE LIST!

Health Trek Day 37

I have decided it is time to start following my own advice. Today, I made the decision that I would live in the moment. See if I could find joy in all the mundane things that are on my chore list today. We spent the weekend outside enjoying this beautiful, unexpected warm weather, but the inside of the house now looks like a Nor'Easter blew through it and the Laundry has somehow multiplied so it is reaching the ceiling! (Partly due to the winter clothes we took out of storage that needs washing to get that "musty" smell out) So I have a long, long list of things that need to be done yesterday, so I can do all the things I want to do!
I began at 4:30 a.m. by going to the gym. It is amazing how hard it is when you miss just one week. We didn't get there at all last week and now it feels like I had to start over. So to take my mind off the pain, I brought my kindle book and immersed myself in a good story. Soon the exercise was done, and I was able to walk out with only a slight limp to show for it. When I got home, instead of heading to the computer, I decided to start on the laundry. I had a couple of loads that needed folding so did those while the machine washed the rest. I put on a nice CD of my favorite music. This one was called the romantic piano, and has all the songs on it my Dad used to play. Listening to it always makes me nostalgic. I forced myself to stay in the moment however, so I started paying attention the the folding of the laundry. I made each fold perfect, felt the softness of the fabric, the clean smell, and the warmth of the clothes from the dryer made my hands feel good. I actually began enjoying that task that I usually try to race through. I then stripped the bed and changed the sheets. I noticed the rich aroma of the clean sheets as I put them on the bed. I relished in the fact that I could once again lift the mattress without my arm hurting. Once the bed was made, I stood back and admired my work. A bedroom looks messy with the bed unmade, but when it is made it makes the whole room look inviting.
I may seem like I am dwelling on mundane topics this morning, but I think getting older makes one realize that if we don't enjoy the time we have left and slow down a little to savor it, we will find our lives spent and discover all we did at the end of it is give in to malaise and discontent. I want to spend my remaining years enjoying every moment even if it means learning to like housework!
I received the new TOPS Day One this weekend and I have decided to use it. I am starting as if I was a new member and going through the booklet every day learning how to get on track to lose weight. Along with my Choice is Mine workbook, I intend to make 2010 the year I become a KOPS!
ROCK On!

A parable for you today:
Imagine Life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called Work, Family, Health, Friends and Integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will come back. The other four balls are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will irrevocably get scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. Once you have understood the meaning of the five balls, you will have the beginning of balance in your life.
From "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas" by James Patterson
Plan for today:
Breakfast: toast and tea, banana
Snack: celery
Lunch: tuna sandwich on wheat bread, pickles
Snack: pretzels
Dinner: Roast beef with mushrooms, baked potato, broccoli
Snack: jello

Exercise: 1/2 hour treadmill; 1/2 hour bike at gym, therapy exercises
Chasing Ben around tonight while I babysit.

Health Trek Day 36

I am traveling on a large river, at least I think it is a river. The banks of the river are narrow and covered with muddy silt. I am traveling with a lot of very intense beings who seem to be on a grim and determined path as they make their way through the sludge that is in the river. Many of them are weeping. Often they seem to disappear through the slimy banks of the river. "What is happening", I cry. "Where am I and who are all of you?" "You are looking within and we are part of you, trying to bring healthy nutrients to your body," one pale organism answers. "But why is the river so thick and filthy and the banks of the river so narrow and filled with sludge?" "Alas, answers my new friend, it is the junk food that you are putting in your body each day. It makes our job harder and harder and who knows how long we can prevail! Take warning... You are what you eat, You are what you eat...."
I woke with a gasp and realized I had been having a really weird dream. Boy have I been watching too much Dr. Oz! But talk about listening to your body! I guess I had better start paying more attention to what I put in it. The thought of my blood flowing through a river of sludge of my own making really makes me think.
We had a guest speaker at TOPS last night that showed us little vials of how much fat is in the basic foods we eat. What an eye opener. I did not realize there was so much fat in the foods I eat way too much of. She also had a "fat vest" she had us put on and put a bag of flour and several cans of food in the pockets which added up to about 14 pounds. It really makes you realize how hard it is to carry around that extra weight. Okay, Okay, I am convinced. I need to try harder. I will, I will! Please no more nightmares!
Seriously folks, with the holidays coming it is even more imperative we listen to our bodies and give it only what it needs to maintain our health. Get out there and exercise and take off those pounds that are causing us all the back aches, leg aches and fluid retention. Drink water and flush out the sludge.
By the way, I did lose 1 1/2 pounds this week. A big surprise as I had not eaten as carefully as I had planned. Today is a new day and I will give my body nutrition it can use well. The weekend is before us, let us use it wisely and well.
Rock On!

A quote for you today from Ralph Marston:
Smile
Sit up straight. Lift your head up. Lift your eyes. Take a
long, deep breath, and smile.
Though things may be far from perfect for you,
act like it's a great day to be alive.
Because it is!
Keep a smile on your face and in your voice.
Put a spring in your step. Act like you would act if you were
the most confident, successful, joyful person in your town.
Speak to others in kind and positive terms.
Think and speak to yourself the same way.
Embrace the challenges and see their positive possibilities.
There is no need to delay, even for another moment,
the fulfillment that life can bring.
See the world around you for what it is,
and know that it cannot bring you down.
Live today as if it is the best day you could possibly imagine.
And in doing that you make it so.
Ralph Marston

Plan for today:
Breakfast: cereal, toast, tea
Snack: fruit cup
Lunch: soup and crackers
Snack: veggies and dip
Dinner: lean pork cutlets, sweet potato, applesauce, spinach
Snack: ice cream bar

Exercise: Walk, Yoga, therapy