Health Trek Day 15, 10/01/09

Today is the first day of October and I really enjoyed my ride home from therapy today. The foliage is lovely, the air crisp and the sun is shining! I am glad to be alive and in moderately good health! My Blog is late today as I slept until 6:30 and had to leave the house by 7:30 for my therapy session. I feel like I've turned a corner, some of the exercises on my list are getting much easier and my range of motion is improving. Mr. Gestapo called in sick today so I had his assistant, Igor. He was thrilled to have a list of all Mr. G's tortures and even had a few of his own up his sleeve, so we managed to get through the hour without too much screaming and crying. (Actually I'm quite stoic and do my exercises quietly and with dignity, except when I get a hot flash.)

I found out last weekend that I am going to be a Great-Grandmother. At first I had a mixed range of emotions stemming from how old I am getting to how is my little grand daughter going to handle being a mother. For that matter how is my baby daughter going to handle being a grandmother. She is my youngest girl-child and I haven't quite got it through this old gray head of mine that she is a grown woman with grown children. So I have been doing a lot of thinking about how and when to let go. Somehow we are expected to have these adorable, albeit individualistic babies, teach them, raise them, worry about them and then one day just let them walk out your door and then not interfere in their lives ever again. Except when they want to move back in, borrow your car, money, or ask for your sage advice. Which they never take. It is a monumental task and we all have problems with it. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful relationship with all my kids, but still find myself trying to solve all their problems for them and sometimes have to be told to back off (in a nice way of course). I did teach them to be polite!
My thoughts began to extend themselves to all the other things we find hard to let go. Like our habits. When I was a teenager, I could eat a platter of french fries every day after school, which I ate as I danced to American Bandstand. I could wolf down burgers and shakes as I tap danced around the house. I think I am beginning to see something unfold here. I used to eat like a lumberjack, but I also used to think nothing of walking 3 miles to the library, ride my bike all over town, tap dance all over the house, dance and jiggle as I did my chores to music on the radio. Now I need a pulley to get myself out of my chair and all my "activities" are sedentary. So I need to let go of the portions that I used to eat, and eat according to my habits. I have been going to the gym for a few weeks now and after one hour of walking, biking and sweating, the machines tell me I have burned between 150 and 200 calories. That is one granola bar. So how much food do I have to subtract from my diet to actually start losing weight. I need to let go of the notion that I can exercise 3 times a week then eat what I want. So for this week, I am telling myself if I want to eat anything for a snack, I have to get up and move for at least 15 minutes before I eat it. Yesterday I got involved cleaning out a cabinet, and totally forgot to stop after fifteen minutes for the snack and by the time I noticed, it was time to make supper. So I will keep trying to see how many habits I can let go.

Here is a poem I wrote for my little girl when she got married:
A Mother's Poem
The first time my tiny infant
snuggled closely to my breast
My mind was filled with wonder
at how sweetly I'd been blessed
The future lay before me
like a never ending road
How little did I realize
how fast the years erode
I remember those first footsteps
as she struggled to my side
Now her footsteps seek another
as a lovely, blushing bride
In the years I took to teach her
and prepare her for this day
I forgot to teach myself
how to give my child away
Those arms that ache to keep her
must somehow let her go
The words of wisdom spoken
mock the heart that loves her so
But as I catch her smiling
with such love upon her face
The child I have been hoarding
is tenderly erased
A woman stands before me
at the threshold of her life
Soon to start her own adventure
as a mother and a wife.

Judy Patt Hall
May 21, 1990

We forget that we were the same age when we started our life. It is so hard to know that your children need to find their own way, even if they make mistakes and do things differently than you think they should. We need to let them go, but be there in the shadows to give them love and support when they ask for it.
The one thing we don't have to let go of is the memories. Hold on to them with all your might and make new ones with the new people you have yet to meet whether it be friend or a brand new great grandchild!
Rock On everyone and have a productive day!
Judy

Plan for today:
muffin for breakfast before dashing out the door.
Lunch: spinach salad
snack: apple and cheese
Dinner: Hamburg and cabbage casserole
Snack: ice cream bar

Exercise: one hour therapy workout with IGOR; Yoga chair exercises; Walk for at least 15 minutes.